Small Talk is Good

I have been a remote worker since the summer of 2020 when Covid hit the United States. I have generally enjoyed being able to live where I want to live and create an environment around me that is different than a regular office. But that doesn't mean there are not trade-offs. There are trade-offs for everything in life.

For instance, if you do too much weight lifting without aerobic cardio, you may be putting your heart at risk.

Alternatively, not performing any resistance training leads to a higher risk of bone loss and osteoporosis.

Back in the Office

I recently went back to visit the office and realized what the trade off for remote working full-time was. When you work from home for a long enough time you start to lose medium range social interaction skills. That's a muscle that I haven't exercised much. It was clear when I dropped into the office that I lost some of my casual wit, timing and exchange chops. I'm sure I could get it back if I just went into the office more. It's a muscle, just like anything else. But it's interesting how you can lose it quickly.

Medium Range

We can define the medium range as people you see on a daily basis and have a casual conversation about news, sports or life events. Your colleague at work isn’t interested to know the elaborate details of your life outside the office or your true feelings on controversial subjects. But just below the surface, small-talk allows the bare minimum of another’s situation to emerge. It allows for a rough estimate of character, it tells us how attuned someone might be to group dynamics. Small-talk signals a mutual commitment to civility within the otherwise frigid bounds of commercial life. It also mostly feels good.

Office life in general makes certain demands on us. We can't really be ourselves, but we need to be somebody. We are thrown into a group of random strangers of varied ages and backgrounds who have only been temporarily aligned in the pursuit of money. We are meant to care – and not really to care. What's going on in someone’s inner world, how their new puppy is getting on or the state of their relationship, etc. We shouldn’t resent our colleagues for not being our friends but nor should we make the mistake of thinking that they are. Modern work places us at a midpoint between the human and the raw truth of economic survival.

Close Range

As a remote worker I still maintain close range conversations with friends. That muscle gets exercised all the time. Those conversations usually involve personal details, and opinions that may not be appropriate for the public. Topics like rethinking your whole relationship, questioning your career, doubting what happened to you in your childhood and or how you had a very bad stomach ache because of a spoiled fish dinner.

Long Range

Then there's long range conversation. Maybe we’re in a coffee shop and someone is preparing us a drink. Perhaps we’ve crossed a neighbor in the hallway. Or we’re on a train, waiting for the doors to open. Most people brush this range off but it's very important. If you don't have enough casual interactions during the day, and all you end up feeling alienated.

There have been weeks where I have worked long hours and did not get this range of conversation in. I had other ranges, but not this one. I didn't feel part of the environment. It was off-putting and maybe resembled what living on Mars would be like.

Why Conversation is Important and Lindy

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