Advice to Your Younger Self

I don’t tend to look back much. But I recently read this tweet that got me thinking about what type of advice I would give to my younger self.

I’m not a big advice guy. That’s because it is difficult to give advice to someone. Life is constantly changing and advice that works in one part of your life doesn’t work for another.

For example, what is good advice for an employee is terrible advice for a business owner or someone self-employed. They have two different ways to optimize survival in their respective domains.

Same thing with relations. Advice that works in a relationship shouldn’t be followed when you’re single and just dating around.

It’s hard to give general advice. Besides, life is meant to be lived forward and we humans learn much more from experiences than we do from people telling us things.

But here some things I wish I would have known back then.

Fifteen Lessons for Life

1. The Later We Meet Someone in a Sequence, The More Negatively We Describe Them

The first piece of advice is practical for anyone who's an employee. I wish I'd known this sooner; it would have saved me so much time. I spent years interviewing for jobs, thinking the selection process was just a random lottery. But that's not the case. Ever since I've made a conscious effort to be one of the first candidates interviewed, my success rate in landing jobs has improved.

I've been on both sides of the hiring table, and really became conscious of this pattern.

In the early stages of the hiring process, there's a tendency to discuss a candidate's suitability for different aspects of the role. But as the process progresses, it often boils down to a simple thumbs up or thumbs down. The truth this, when you don't have any point of reference, you need to describe each candidate in detail. But once you have a few strong contenders to compare with, it all becomes a matter of "are they better or worse than X."

There is even research that supports this.

2. Don’t Ask Someone for Advice, Ask Them What They Would do In Your Position

Don’t ask something for advice, but rather ask what they'd do if they stood in your shoes. It's a tried-and-true method for a genuine answer from someone you respect. Erasmus noted it as a common saying in Greece and Rome.

The power of this approach lies in the fact that when you ask someone what they'd do in your shoes, they're likely to see themselves in your situation and respond based on their own experiences and judgments. This direct self-projection often leads to more practical and relatable advice, as it skips the step of tailoring their response to what they think you should do, which can be colored by their views on your abilities, preferences, or circumstances.

3. Many Addictions Can be Stopped Without Help

Today, it's all too easy to fall into addiction. Nearly everything seems engineered to hook us. Society insists that we must seek help for every issue. Sure, some might need that. But not everyone. We often overlook the Lindy approach to addiction: just quit. We have that power.

I smoked cigarettes for a few years. Then, one day, I decided I'd had enough and just stopped. It's crucial to know that this power lies within us and we shouldn't overlook it. We don't need help for everything.

You don’t always need someone. You can figure stuff out on your own.

4. Obsession is the Ultimate Optimization 

These days, it's trendy to focus on designing your workspace, aiming to spark a flow state or, at the very least, create a space that's good for getting things done.

@notkharmamedic

A clear desk is a clear mind 🙌🏼Cleaning your workspace will help you stay more focused on the task at hand!#productivitytips #fyp #motivation

People obsess over optimizing their environment when the real action is in the obsession. I've been in the zone at a cluttered desk, surrounded by distractions. And I've fallen out of the zone in a too-tidy space, even with all distractions out of reach. The difference? My passion for the project. Obsession is the best motivator.

I believe the key to focus is being consumed by a problem or an idea. That's what gets you into the flow. The environment? Not so important. In fact, a place where you're constantly challenged, like a noisy cafe or public area, might even be helpful. It lets you think about it clearly in the face of resistance. Boiling it down to its’ essence.

5. The Opposite of a Good Idea

When brainstorming, remember: the opposite of a good idea can also be a good idea. We usually stop dead in our tracks when we hear about a good idea. But maybe we should just go in the opposite way. The backdoor.

The opposite idea tackles the problem from a new angle or offers an alternative solution.

@psychology_hacks1

The ‘worst drink in history’. do you agree? #marketing #business #redbull #rorysutherland

6. Careers Have Hidden Risks

Choose your career wisely, as there are hidden aspects that matter.

Consider the veterinary profession. People enter it out of love for animals, only to find themselves euthanizing them daily and deal with people who put down healthy animals because it costs just a little bit above their budget to medically help them. Perhaps you shouldn’t become a veterinarian if you love animals.

We can see this with lawyers. Law school doesn't resemble being a lawyer at all. The television depictions of lawyers are also not accurate. When people truly enter the profession they are shocked. Remember to investigate what the reality is

@lawyer.britt

What being a lawyer is really like 🧐 #lawyersoftiktok #lawyerlife #foryou #foryoupage #fyp

7. Don’t Get Caught Up in The Permanent Now

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