We're All Gamers Now

Modern life in America is very good for a specific type of person. I like to call him the master of games. These individuals thrive in systems where success can be measured, optimized, and won. Whether it’s climbing career ladders, starting businesses, hacking financial frameworks, or scaling startups, they excel because they understand the rules, and they play to win

Our world today is full of games to masters, crypto trading, careerism, social media scaling, startups or the financial game called FIRE—Financial Independence, Retire Early.

FIRE became a movement for millennials in the 2010s, spreading through blogs, podcasts, and forums. The rules are simple: work hard, save aggressively, cut out extras. No meals out, no splurging, drive an old beater. Follow the plan, and you might retire at 40 instead of 65.

Recently, a post went viral on Twitter/X about a man who did just that. He’d worked hard, saved aggressively, and cut out every luxury. He ended up with millions of dollars at age 40. By any measure, he’d won. He’s free from the 9 to 5.

But his wife called him a loser. Why?

One overlooked truth about human nature is that women don’t want to see you just lay around all day. Even if you’re succesful. You have to be doing something. Or at the very least, just get out of the house.

The dynamic feedback loop between men and women is an evolutionary thing. It’s probably good for all parties in the long run. Even if a little annoying at first.

You could sit at a café all day doing absolutely nothing, as long as she doesn’t see it and believes you’re out there working. The Mediterraneans get this. Its a culture of men going outside but not really doing anything. Long walks, sitting at Cafes, etc. It keeps the peace in the household.

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But there’s another bigger story here from that post.

The Limits of Games

Smoking Weed and playing Video games may be an acceptable hobby if you’re in the 4HL Consistency Space. You only have a few hours to yourself. You need volatility. Low-stakes, potentially social, and a way to decompress during limited free time. In that context, they’re understandable.

But for a free man, someone who has broken out of the 9-to-5 grind, those hobbies are embarrassing. A man with the world as his playground. And that’s the real reason his wife is angry with him. It’s about how he’s spending it.

Games have limits. They are inherently closed loops, with clear rules, goals, and ways to win. but they rarely allow for depth or transcendence, things things that make life interesting

This is what his wife saw. Not someone who won, but someone wasting the spoils of his victory. True freedom demands more than idle consumption. It calls for creativity, relationships, and purpose. Many people who escape the grind fall into the same trap: they’ve mastered finite games but struggle to transition to infinite ones.

And that’s the core issue. Mastering finite games doesn’t prepare you for the infinite ones, the games without clear rules, where the goal is not to win but to continue playing. That’s what makes life fun.

Let’s explore the concept of finite and infinite games a little bit more.

Finite and Infinite Games

Not all games are the same. Finite and Infinite games is a useful concept to know, it’s based on a book by James Carse.

The book divides human activities into two types of games:

1. Finite Games: These have clear rules, boundaries, and endpoints. The goal is to win, and the game ends when someone succeeds. Examples include sports, business competitions, job promotions, academic degrees, and political campaigns. Success is measurable, winning a match, earning a promotion, completing a degree, or closing a deal.

2. Infinite Games: These are about keeping the game going. The goal isn’t to win but to play, create, and expand possibilities. Examples include art, relationships, philosophy, and life itself. These games resist optimization because there’s no final outcome. Friendships, artistic creation, scientific discovery, and philosophical inquiry thrive on ongoing exploration and growth, not measurable success.

Carse’s insight is that infinite games are ultimately more fulfilling.

Aristotle discussed this same concept thousands of years ago. He distinguished between poiesis, action aimed at external goals, and praxis, action done for its own sake. Think of practicing virtue as a infinite game but seeking money as a finite game.

In this passage, Aristotle critiques the pursuit of wealth as an end in itself, arguing that money is valuable only as a means to achieve other goals, not as an ultimate good. Win at finite games so you can have the privilege to play infinite games.

In This Newsletter

1) America Favors Finite Games: American culture prioritizes finite games,activities with clear winners and measurable outcomes, due to its focus on productivity and competition. This has made us a rich country. But what are the downsides to not playing infinite games?

2) Turning Infinite Games into Finite Games: Modern society frames parenting as a finite game measured by milestones and achievements. This shift may discourage people from embracing the enduring, infinite aspects of raising children. Is this one reason people aren’t having kids?

3) The Downside of Competition: Playing to win versus playing to keep playing can fundamentally change not just mood but mindset and overall approach to life. Competition can remove much of the joy of life.

America is the Finite Game Nation

Every country has it’s own special insult that stings worse than the others. It cuts to the core of what the spirit of each particular nation is:

In America, being called a “loser” is one of the worst insults imaginable. But why does this label carry so much weight? The answer lies in America’s overwhelming focus on finite games.

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